Download , by Kay Bratt
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, by Kay Bratt
Download , by Kay Bratt
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Product details
File Size: 3146 KB
Print Length: 352 pages
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing (March 16, 2010)
Publication Date: March 30, 2010
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B0031R5JSM
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#27,032 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I ordered this book because we are part of Safe Families ([..]), a charity that cares for children whose parents temporarily can't do so as an alternative to the state having to take custody of such kids. I've also known children adopted from China, and wanted to know more about what life was for them like before coming here. In addition, with our nation now so deeply in debt to China, I wanted to know more about our new bankers.Silent Tears is a diary of several recent years in the life of an American Christian "ex pat" housewife living in Mainland China. It's a "warts and all" account of her experiences, good, bad and ugly, including her own problems. I was very impressed by the author's efforts. She was sensitive to the possibility that practices which seemed senseless and cruel to her might actually have good reasons behind them, as was sometimes the case, but also willing to persist in efforts to improve matters for the children of the orphanage in their town. By mobilizing donors and other volunteers, she was able to make lasting differences, especially in the lives of particular children.However, there was only so much the orphanage volunteer group could do without causing their Chinese hosts to lose face in ways that might have resulted in payback against the orphanage children. Even now, years later, the town in which the orphanage was located is not named, for fear of retribution against volunteers and children still there.One tidbit that really helped my own understanding was realizing that in Chinese culture, when a wife marries, she leaves her own family and joined her husband's. Thus, the only way a family can be sure of having a child to care for them in old age is by having a son. I still don't approve favoring sons over daughters, but do now better understand the "logic" of it in such a society.This book is must reading for anyone thinking of adopting a child from China, and highly useful reading for anyone planning to visit China. I also found it useful for understanding what it may take for the U.S. to continue good relations with China.I found the book best to read in small doses, due to the sadness and frustration described in many of its pages, but was still interested enough to finish it within two days.One thing I initially missed was a suggestion of next steps for those interested in helping, though I found that too at the author's Web site: [..], which suggests, for instance, how to fund the $35 monthly cost of fostering a child.Something else I'd like to have read more about was the Christian community in China, though that too might have endangered anyone mentioned.
I should be the ideal reader for a book like this. As an adoptive mom of three kids, all Asian (though not Chinese), I am highly sympathetic to the plight of "orphans" around the world (many of whom have living parents who are unable to care for them for a multitude of reasons.) I've visited orphanages in China and India, and I've done quite a bit of reading and speaking about developmental and social outcomes related to early institutionalization. But it's unfortunate: this book's purpose, to raise awareness of the conditions of institutionalized orphans in China, is undermined by the author's persistent and intrusive bias against all things Chinese. China is repeatedly referred to as "this strange land" or "this foreign land"; she (rather casually) states that Chinese men don't respect women; she wonders with annoyance why the serving staff at McDonald's persist in speaking to her in Mandarin; and finally, attempting to support a narrative arc in which she and the Chinese caretakers eventually grow to understand each other,, she concludes that the Chinese "have their own culture, which they've had for hundreds of years." (Hundreds of years, indeed! Those pesky Chinese whippersnappers! Try tens of thousands.)It's more than understandable that Bratt feels angry about the conditions that many children languish in, and she's at her best when confronting the truly appalling neglect and abuse she documents: healthy babies wither into apathetic, developmentally delayed children, while children with extra challenges like cleft palate or blindness fade away and - too often - die in their beds. It sounds as though she and her team of volunteers made some substantial changes in the orphanage, enriching the lives of all the kids, and providing several individual children with life-saving medical and foster care. I truly enjoyed reading the letters included at the end from adoptive parents who ultimately provided a "forever family" to some of the children Bratt knew as a volunteer, and these letters offer a lot of credibility to Bratt's work there. Unfortunately, her anger over the plight of the orphans is too often translated into rather harsh generalizations about Chinese culture and people. Although Bratt says she learned to speak Mandarin, her writing voice is that of a foreigner who fears and loathes what she doesn't understand.
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